All Dressed Up

If you were to ask me if I was superstitious, I would probably say no. However, over the course of the past year, I have thrown away at least a dozen or more shirts. It started the day Olive was diagnosed. I was wearing a cute, new shirt I had just purchased the day before at Old Navy. Then we received the news. That night I threw the now ugly shirt in the trash. How could I ever wear that cursed shirt again? I had no idea that subconsciously I had started a my own superstitious tradition. Every subsequent scan, surgery or appointment that Olive had, would result in a discarded outfit. It didn't take long before I started running out of clothes that I was willing to throw away. The clothing shortage was not only a problem for me, but one for Richard as well. I couldn't allow him to wear any shirt that would remind me of bad news. So, he was often required to throw his out as well. Nine or ten months down the road, as we began to run out of clothes, we could often be found wearing really old, and most often skin tight (due to the marriage weight we've gained) shirts to every doctor appointment.

Well, one year later, as we returned to SLC for the scan that would determine if Olive's chemotherapy was working, I turned over a new leaf. More appropriately, I wore a new outfit. The old habit of throwing the bad shirts away was costing us a fortune, and didn't seem to have any real benefit. For this appointment, I got up early to ensure that I looked good for our day at the hospital. I left for the scan looking "fine". Not just any old "fine" but first date kinda "fine". I was lipsticked, hair-sprayed and made-up. I had on my good jeans, a cute top and some jewelery. I pulled out all the stops. The end results, and this is the very important part, Olive's scan came back showing she had no new tumor growth since July. The chemotherapy is working. After just three rounds of carboplatin, the tumor has not gotten any bigger. This is the longest Olive will have ever gone in her whole life without surgery. This is the first time we have every been allowed to take her home immediately following a scan. All the doctors agree that she should continue with her scheduled chemotherapy, and she is not required to return to SLC until February. This is great news!! If I was superstitious, I would probably feel obligated to wear this lucky outfit each time we go. Since I am not, maybe all I need is a new outift every time. Next time we go, I want to hear that the tumor is shrinking. Hell, for news that good I should probably buy some new shoes too.